1. Grab your oil and a daggy cloth.
2. Find a friend.
3. Pop the boot, then realise you've pulled the wrong lever. Shut the boot, locate the lever for the hood, and pull.
4. Prop up your bonnet. No, not your hat, the other one.
5. Locate your dipstick. The one in the car, not the one in the house.
6. Pull it on out.
7. Wipe it clean.
8. Replace the dipstick then pull it out again.
9. Examine your oil level against the indicators on the stick. Replace the dipstick, close the bonnet, put away the oil and go let your dad know that the oil level is still fine and doesn't need topping up.
If, on the other hand, your oil level is low, you can follow this easy two-step process:
10. Locate the oil-hole (?) on your engine and remove the oil cap.
11. Slug in the oil like it's nobody's business.
Bob's your uncle! You now have a happy car and a happy dad.