One would think that in a corporate workplace we'd have all well and truly left our days of petty childish jabbering and retaliation behind us.

Perhaps more to the point, you'd think we'd all know how to use the toilet. Apparently not.

You go into the ladies bathroom at my work and the place is full of handwritten commands and instructions. Refill this, replace that, don't leave that there, don't do that on that. I never realised I needed so many instructions to go to the bathroom. And you always know when someone's snapped because the nature of the message gets noticeably sinister. If it's written in caps with permanent marker you know someone has just had a really bad experience in the toilet. I'd be willing to bet that the mens toilet isn't filled with hints and tips on how to use the facilities, even if they did need them.

Someone snapped in the kitchen a few months ago. No one saw it happen, but we all noticed the new sign - a picture of a microwave with arms and legs and a very unhappy face. He warned us in no uncertain terms that if we splattered in the microwave it was our responsibility to clean it up and that whoever left the mess last time is a completely shit person. That sign has been there for months, but something mysterious has happened overnight. Someone has cut the letters 'W T F' out of a magazine and stuck them on the notice. I kid you not. I wish I was kidding. I work at a magazine publisher, so, I know we do have the advantage of being able to write shitloads of ransom notes, but to be pushed over the edge by the angry microwave sign? Wow, just wow.

Corporate office, orrrr, daycare for adults?!

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