I sit in a prime position at the front of my office which pretty much enables me to spy on everyone who comes and goes.

There’s a guy in our office who has a long bob which he wears tied back in a pony but every Friday without fail he walks in the door with his bob loose and flowing in the breeze. It’s like his signal that the weekend is about to begin.

Besides that, the other great thing about my vantage point: watching people come and go for interviews. You can tell almost instantly who’s in with a shot and who should probably not get their hopes up. I could probably write an introductory help-book based on these observations. It would go a little something like this:

1. Boys, do wear suits. If only for the benefit of me. I think grey is good – formal but relaxed. Besides, no one else in the building is wearing a tuxedo, we don’t expect you to wear one.

2. Don’t stand outside the building forty minutes before your interview clutching a Maccas bag and reading a Harry Potter book and then slink in ten minutes before your interview and think that no one saw you. We saw you. We all saw you, and we knew exactly what you were doing. That was very un-stealth of you.

3. Arrive for your interview 5 minutes early. Employers do not like it when you show up any earlier, and they express this with eye rolls and exasperated groans behind the scenes. You do not want your interview to begin with an exasperated groan. You have immediately become a pain in the ass.

4. By all means, stake out the building early, but don’t come in. Circle the block seven times, or hide behind some shrubs and pop out at the appropriate moment. It will appear as though you have impeccable timing and fabulous navigation skills.

5. Bring something to do while you’re waiting – you are a busy and important individual. You could be sending an urgent business-related email… you could be playing Words with Friends  (still frightfully important) – it doesn't matter, the coffee table book really isn’t that interesting, and we think you look a bit silly pretending that it is.

Well that takes you right up to the reception area, the rest is up to you. If you follow these wonderful tips, and providing you can flash a few smiles and hold a conversation, you should be home an hosed!

And that concludes this report from The Swivel Chair. Bestest of luck with all your future endeavours.

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