Sarah opens this chapter with the comforting and astonishingly well-timed words, 'Around about this stage I can almost guarantee a little sabotaging voice will pop up: "Why am I putting myself through this pain?"' I believe she hit the nail on the head!

She reminds us that our bodies are designed to eat very little fructose, yet our sugar consumption over the last 150 years has risen from 0kg to 60kg per person, per year.

And yes, sugar is natural. But the amount we are exposed to, is not.

In this chapter Sarah also looks into the fruit debate. She says 1-2 pieces a day is fine, but no more. Many remain unconvinced. I'm not going to go into that now, but you can read a post on that very topic via one of Sarah's blog posts, here

Sigh. It's been a tough week in IQS land. Real tough.

I went camping with a group of 10 on the weekend and it was Sugar Central. It did make things rather difficult in the ol' willpower stakes! You should have seen the treats being passed around Central Tarp HQ on Saturday night. Home-made caramel slice and choc chip cookies, a zillion chocolate bars, birthday cake. Somehow I managed to resist it all; but I think I was able to do that only because some people knew I was doing IQS. A pride thing.

It was really difficult, mentally, dealing with saying no and also watching everyone else having treats, continuously. I started to question myself and what I was doing. Not because I'd forgotten all the heath reasons, but because I felt like an outsider and a bit of a bore and an extremist, all at once, and like I was missing out. I was, indeed, asking myself why I was putting myself through the pain of treat deprivation.

That being said, I did leave the campsite feeling happy with my decisions. I am almost positive that had I given myself free reign with all the aforementioned delights, I would have been feeling pretty yuck by the time I left.

Pretty much how I feel right now!

Strong as I was on the weekend, things have gone skewiff over the last few days. When I came back from camping I felt so utterly teased and traumatised by the abundance of sugar and my lack of sugar-related fun that I felt I just HAD to have it. And have it, I did. Rinse and repeat for the past few days. My fall from grace has not happened at work (no sneaky Caramello Koalas), which is an achievement, but rather, at night time. I've been home alone; methinks that has not helped the situation. 

It's pretty hard to admit this here. I did not even want to come to write this post. Correction: I wanted to come and write this post, and tell a bunch of fibs. But I've committed to this and I'm not done with it. This is my experience, not Sarah Wilson's or anyone else's. So I best tell it how it is. My reasons for doing this remain the same. I'm going to start Week 5 fresh tomorrow and give it my best shot.

Having had a sugar attack only hours ago (thanks Mum, for bringing those chocolates home from your holiday), I feel pretty yuck right now. It's hard to put that 'sugar slump' into words, but all I know is that I was feeling fantastic before, and now I feel lackluster. Sarah Wilson challenges IQS'ers to eat some sugar at the end of the 8 weeks, just to see what the experience is like. For her it was a Tim Tam. She said she didn't enjoy it. I found that VERY hard to believe when I first read the book, but I'm slowly beginning to understand. Sugar is nice. But I think the enjoyment factor is related to choosing my moments wisely. The sugar binge was over-rated. Occasional treat, fine. Solo sugar shoveling... barely pleasant, all things considered.  

I feel like the people around me, when they are eating sugary things, like to talk loudly about how delicious their sugar is. It doesn't make things easy, when I am trying to abstain and do something positive for my health. I know they don't do it purposefully to get all up in my grill (at least, I hope); it's just that their appreciative sugar noises seem amplified because I'm not partaking.

With that in mind, the start of Week 5 tomorrow brings a fresh start and with it, a new attitude. I'm not going to be bothered by what other people are doing. They're in their bubble and are free to do what they like, and I'm in mine. All I can think about is my own prerogatives. After attending a wedding and going on a holiday without eating sugar, I've proven to myself that it's not that difficult to say no to sugar in social situations. It's not hard to say "No thank you"; it can still be hard to watch and not partake, sometimes. I probably need to work on my Plan B for when the Sugar Monster is calling, though.

Entering into Week 5, the goal is still to cut out all sugar. I feel like, despite my crash, the positive habitual changes that I made in the first few weeks haven't been lost, so I'd like to continue as planned, with the aim of strengthening those new habits. 

Yesterday, Tuesday 5th March, Russell Brand wrote a frank and touching blog post about addiction. In it, he wrote, "one day at a time, just don’t pick up, that’s all." His poison is heroin, mine is sugar. (Some say they're not that different. Google "Sugar is like heroin".) If Russell can go 10 years without his poison, I should be able to go 7 days without mine.

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