Exclaim This

Five minutes into my commute to work this morning my car's dashboard decided to light up a little picture of an exclamation mark.

I am SORRY, but whoever thought up that little gem must have been short on a few cells. What does one do, mid-drive no less, with the myriad of useful information that is presented with such a sign?

"What does it meeean?", my brain scrambled. 

"Am I out of oil, am I driving on three wheels? Are my brakes working, has the engine fallen out? Is the alternator shot, is my wiper fluid low?!"


So, safety first, whilst nudging my way along the peak-hour traffic I pried the car's manual from the glove box and indexed and leafed my way to the section entitled "Effing Useless Dashboard Signals and Their Meanings". Apparently, an exclamation mark on the dashboard denotes low brake fluid levels. But of course!

I absolutely refuse to believe that this knowledge is shared by the rest of the population, bar me.

The manual implied that I should make contact with my friendly Mitsubishi dealer as soon as possible and had the nerve to suggest I should steer my vehicle to the side of the road and fire-up my hazards, post-haste, in fact.

"Listen here, Manual", thought I. "I've had time to locate and decipher you and my brakes still seem to be working. There's not a chance in hell I'll be pulling to the side of the road. Fob off".

Like seatbelt signs in aeroplanes and screaming house alarms, all annoying signals, I'm afraid, are almost certain to be ignored until if and when any tangible element of danger presents itself. Having said that, whilst the consequence of ignoring an aeroplane seatbelt signal could be the connection of one's head to one fuselage, and the result of ignoring a house alarm could be someone else's crap being knocked off (who cares), a small part of me does fear that ignoring the brake fluid indicator could result in me driving into a Mack Truck, or, over a cliff and into a canyon, if I were starring in an 80s film at the time.

Low and behold, whilst lost in my daydreams the exclamation mark grew weary and returned to his home in the dark recesses of the dashboard.

I'd say that's a problem fought and a problem solved. Jolly good.

No comments: